Genius.com Engineering Grant from Zimbabwe

Months after receiving an unsolicited offer for Genius logo design from a generous Kazakh national, Genius.com again has had a fruitful interaction with a developing nation.  Following intensive high-level negotiations between Drew Stephens, Genius.com’s Vice President of Fonts and Colors, and Zimbabwean benefactors who prefer to remain anonymous, the engineering department at Genius.com received a generous contribution of a $100 trillion (ZWD) note to further our development efforts.  This grant allows every member of the engineering department to bypass being mere millionaires or billionaires (so dot com) and ascend to levels previously only seen by the American national debt, trillionairism.

“In the face of extraordinarily difficult economic conditions, we at Genius.com are very proud to be partnering with such a beacon of economic prosperity and fiscal restraint,” commented Stephens.

100 Trillion Zimbabwe Dollars

100 Trillion Zimbabwe Dollars

Such a generous grant requires careful deliberation about the most effective investment strategy.  Initial discussions included purchasing a Caribbean island with a ball pit (think CuervoNation meets McDonald’s).  This strategy particularly resonated with Stephens, “As Vice President of Fonts and Colors, I take personal responsibility for selecting proper tones and hues — and I take it extraordinarily seriously.  The investment in a state-of-the-art ball pit would be a challenging undertaking for my department but one that would have important and long-lasting effects on employee morale and brand identification.”

XKCD Grownups comic

XKCD "Grownups" comic

However, following a notarized appraisal, discussions narrowed to bids submitted by contractors presenting an apple and a stick of Big Red premium chewing gum.  After a lengthy and heated debate, the desire for equitable distribution won out and the apple was purchased.  It was promptly devoured.

apple

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